I’m content, happy, excited, peaceful…want to start riot. A fun riot..you know with ice cream and water slides and dance music. I’ve been feeling this way for the past couple of months and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from.
This morning I decided to go for a walk. It’ s gorgeous outside and it’s far to easy for me to stay inside and get caught up in whatever…So, I downloaded an episode from The Minimalists podcast entitled; Sentimental. (These guys rock. I encourage anyone who’s looking for a change to give them a listen). Their episodes run about an hour long and that’s how long it takes me to walk from my house to the sand beach and back. Perfect.
I started taking pictures a long the way. I’m so happy to live in such a beautiful, tranquil place. Then it hit me why I’ve been feeling so joyful lately.
I’m changing my life. Nothing around me is changing, but I’m choosing to look at it and approach it differently. And I like what I see.
Firstly, I’m reducing my impact on the planet. This makes me feel awesome. Straight up awesome. Zero Waste 4-EVA!!!!!
I’m letting go of material things and relationships and situations that are not good for me. Letting go of expectations I’ve been putting on myself for years. Crazy expectations that no one cares about but me. I’m 34, it’s about time I stop caring about what others think may or may not of me.
And the biggest one; I shaved my head 2 months ago. My hair was something I thought about everyday for nine years. Nine whole f**king years spent thinking about how to make my hair look bigger and thicker so no one would see my shame- I’d lost the one thing I thought made me beautiful. It’s a woman’s crowning glory after all. I’ve felt like a freak for nine f**king years. It was a big part of my self-hatred. Then in a moment- I couldn’t do it anymore; my sickly looking hair had to go. I cried for 2 days after I shaved it. I still sorta feel like less of a woman because it’s gone…never to return to its full, thick, curls-for-days state. But that feeling gets less and less each day; replaced with a badass-mother-who-don’t-take-crap-from-noone attitude. *Cool Runnings reference btw*. Now I have the beginnings of a mohawk. I kinda like it. It suits me.
I’m doing all these things for me. I didn’t consciously decide to ‘shake it off’, as Ms. Swift would say. One thing lead to another and here I am a bald-headed, zero-wasting-minimalist, middle-finger-kindly-pointed-in-the-air woman. These changes are starting to make me feel fearless. I want to share with the world just how awesome it all is.
This is made all the more fun because I have such a supportive hubby and kids.
Oh, and if you have any podcasts that you like listening to I’d love to know. I’m a podcast newb and looking for something to listen to on my daily walks.